Being an introvert can be unnecessarily stressful. Introverts can feel unappreciated, misunderstood, and undervalued in relationships and at work. Here are 5 tips to help you live your best introverted life.

Disclaimer: Blogs are a great place to get helpful information but they should never replace mental healthcare and this blog is no exception. These blog posts do not replace mental heath care and are not medical advice.

1. Give yourself grace

Understand that your personality is needed and necessary in the world. This is something we don’t hear about but it’s true. Introverts are typically better listeners, more observant, and very creative people. Don’t try to be someone you aren’t to make others comfortable, it doesn’t work and just leaves you miserable.

2. Go somewhere you’re valued.

If you’re part of an environment that criticizes you for being quiet or “antisocial” (which is not the correct usage of that word but is typically used to describe introverted people), find an environment that values you.

This can be hard if it’s your own family that criticizes you. In this case, find friends that value your personality, join clubs that interest you, and hone in on your interests because this is going to give you the opportunity to make new connections with people who value you.

I realize that telling introverts to find new social outlets sounds impossible but, as an introvert I’ve found that this works for me and has given me more confidence and ownership of who I am.

3. In your romantic relationship, look for a partner who appreciates you

This is very important because your romantic relationship can become abusive if your partner constantly criticizes who you are and constantly wants you to change. Find someone who respects who you are and your boundaries. If you don’t want to go out, if you’d rather stay home and watch a movie, etc. your partner should respect that, not criticize you for it.

That being said, you should also make sure that you are getting the amount of socializing that you need for your own wellbeing. And you should also realize that your partner may have social needs that are different from yours. So if they want to go out, don’t stop them.

4. Challenge Yourself

As an introvert, I don’t think I would have gotten where I am if I didn’t challenge myself. I decided a long time ago not to let introversion get in the way of things I wanted to do. In high school and college I joined sports and clubs.

Professionally, my job is to talk to strangers about their lives because I enjoy it and I’m good at it. And personally, I have been married for 5 years (something that seemed impossible to me in high school and college because I was afraid of talking to boys). If ever there was a time that I didn’t want to do something only because of the social aspect, I pushed myself to do it anyway.

5. Get help when you need it

Sometimes what we think is “introversion” can actually be social anxiety. For me, it’s a little bit of both. I’m naturally introverted but because of constant criticism and bullying throughout childhood I also have social anxiety.

I realized this when I went to therapy in college. My psychologist helped me see where my fear was coming from, that it was irrational, and that it was based on past experiences. This further helped me to challenge myself and move past the fear.

6. Realize Rome wasn’t Built in a Day

If you have goals that you feel like introversion is preventing from achieving, just remember that it’s a process. You’re not going to magically reach your goals. When you have setbacks, evaluate what went wrong and why and then move forward. Don’t dwell on the past.

Talk to you soon,

Carmelita

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